whatever whatever whatever (:

2010-10-28T09:18:00.002+08:00

The perfect guy :)

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she steals your favourite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Treat her like she's all that matters to you

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it's stupid

Give her the world.

Let her wear your clothes

hen she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important.

Don't talk about other girls around her

Kiss her in the pouring rain

2010-09-20T10:02:00.004+08:00

First of all, thanks to all the babes who helped to clear my wardrobe & supporting our booth :)

Afterall, a great experience.

& i'm so elated i finally passed my ACCA paper F1. Next up will be paper F2.

Argh, weak in the paper. I need motivation & blessings.

& thanks to my boy. He's of a great help always.
I love you b.

2010-08-19T19:15:00.003+08:00

Come down & have a look!!

11am - 4pm St James Power House

I'll be havin' a booth over there at SB11, near the entry into Sports Bar :D

Support me dearies or get some loots for yourself!

2010-08-06T15:42:00.004+08:00

I've no idea what to buy for baby's birthday yet & i'm cracking my brain.

There're so many things that i could think of but i cant possibly afford to buy ALL?

:( HELP.

& btw our 1 year anniversary is reaching as well.

He is so fortunate to receive presents for 2 occassions hur?

Heh.

2010-08-05T10:02:00.004+08:00

Of what happened ytd night left a deep impression in me.

It was so heartbreaking; the words you've said & the actions you've treated me.

It isn't the usual you, you've changed.
I know i can't control you nor stop you already.
Things are so different now. I'll just look at an optimistic side & go along with your doings.

I don't want this to repeat again.

I truly hope, after what happened last night, 'll make us cherish & treasure each other more.

& that, i want to be treated this way no more. Neither will i treat you that way too.

2010-07-15T23:15:00.008+08:00

On a Saturday mornin, I heard doorbell & a few mins after, mama passed me this...

OMG! It was such a beau that consists 11 Stalks of Pink Roses & 11 Ferrero Rocher.
There isn't any specific name on the card & it only says "Happy 9th Month Anniversary! I Love You. 30/05/10"

& from there, I knew it was him. Infact, a few days ago, I knew he was up to something but didn't expect it to be this!
To be frank, my boyfriend isn't any romantic latter but I was so elated to receive these flowers from him on our 9th monthiversary.

So sweet so blissful that I feel the love :D

Ty again, darling! But sadly, the flowers 're dead now =( & i ate all the Ferrero Rochers :) Hahahs. Yumyum!

Beautiful :D

Last Saturday, we were at East Coast (again! =.=") & chanced upon this shop that sells alot of stuff toys.
Minnie mouse, Mickey mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Spongebob etc etc.

Baby wanted to buy a particular Winnie the Pooh for me. Till now, i'm still a fetish of Winnie the Pooh luh. But it costs at an expensive rate :( so I didn't want him to get it.
Before we headed to Parkway for dinner, he went into the shop again & lied that he wanna checkout the price while I waited for him outside.
& a few mins after, he came out with this...

Aww! How sweet! Cute yea? So into World Cup Fever! I assume boyfriend 'll hug our babies (real kids) like that in the picture above? Hahaha. A good father carrier hur? :D

& now, it's lying on my bed, with me every night :) I can't hug bf to sleep :( and therefore, i treated the pooh bear as a smaller version of him.
I'm hugging it to sleep soon!
Lovelove. What more can i expect from this lovely guy over here? Things happened, we quarrelled, we settled, it's over & we had it all again & again. But he's still my love.
And now, i'm only expecting a small favour from him, which is he knows yea?
Ty darlinboy. You're appreciated.

2010-07-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Once again, while waiting for boyfriend to reach home safely after sendin' me home,

I shall update a mini post? 've been neglecting this since ages.

Exams 're over, work is still on with the compulsory OT.
Studying night classes is tiring too. Law is indeed a killer paper!

Anyway, back to my life! It's bad & not enjoyable as a adult at all.
(Am i still consider a teenager? Haha)

Fortunately with the accompaniment of bf, it has make my life more meaningful & tone down.

I could recall, East Coast is the place that we will nvr fail to go during weekends.
I dunno why, initially it seems that the sea is peaceful and pleasant to us.
But after plenty time spent over there, EVERY WEEK, i'm now so sick of it :(

But still, it's a chilling place yea?

So during my study period & his, we always went there & pictures :D

My boy is childish? Fancy sitting on these kids' stuffs haha, but he's the cutest still :D

I can't stand my face, it has become so pale :(

Always when i'm studying, he will be playing with his psp! RAH & ignore me when i need him to distress me :(

This was just taken last week when we were preparing for his exam that has finally ended today! Wooray!

Oh ya, i remembered this photo. ORD day for him, he was filled with overwhelming happiness.
Haha, I took leave just to accompany him to get back his pink IC.

See how happy he was? :) & by using his sweat to 've the IC stick onto his forehead =.="

What an idea, boy!

Ain't this cute?! We were window-shopping & found this cute little hp strap.
Without any hesitation, we bought it! It was aww, so sweet.

& tadah! I hung it as a pair of earrings on him. Hehehe, so adorable! It made me laughed the whole night that evening.

My new WINNIE THE POOH pencil box :D

Some day at East Coast again, before my exams. Told you i was there almost every week! Haha.

The innocent him eh?

& the cheeky side of him! RAH!

Lastly, my handsome boy :D

I never had a good opportunity to thank my bf for being so supportive.

Before, during & after my exams, he was always there for me & motivate me.
Studying with me w/o any complaints at all, absolutely no.

I was so thankful that no words can express them.

& so, to wrap it up, my boyfriend is the best person that I can expect for :)

though he hurts me at times! :( but he's still sweet & i love him.

Thank you buibui!

2010-06-09T21:29:00.007+08:00

Lack of blogging spirits again. Haha, but anyway, am back here for a min to whine before i continue my books.

I'm deriving of sleep & memory space! :(
Gosh, 2 more papers to go, tell me how to cope with it. I'm stressed! F. stressed, boo.

Lovely bf who accompanied me when i'm studying everyday w/o any complaints!
& now, he's sick. I hope he recovers soon :)
both retards?

Goodbye peeps. Will update soon right after my exams, i promised.
At least am able to take a break for awhile before F3 & F4 classes commence in July.
& clubbing, here i'm, SOON.

2010-05-13T17:00:00.002+08:00

I'ma craving for ePosh brownies now! Hehe

So sinful :(

Aww

2010-04-27T12:12:00.002+08:00

Do not get yourself attached before the admission of polys.

Your partner will feel fucked up everyday when you're in school.

Fookup for 3 years? BAH

2010-04-19T16:50:00.006+08:00

At times, i don't really quite comprehend my own feelings too.

I dunno what i want, i dunno what i expect.

All i know is to feel the pain everytime.

Ask me to explain, i'm speechless because i don't even know what i want.

It seems that whenever you've classmates or friends around,

you dun give a damn about me,

you took a longer time to text me, you took a longer time to reply me,

you called me and talked only for a shortwhile.

Unlike when you're all alone. & what i meant, was after school, not during.

During class, of course i'll understand.

Don't bother askin me what happened because i wouldnt know. I just hope you know what you're doing & understand why 'm i behaving that way.
I don't want all your fake entertaining actions.

You may not 've thought that way, but i'm sure it is.

You may feel that everything you did seems to be wrong or not to my expectation, but in fact, i'm not expecting anything from you, just abit of your attention.
Whatever you think, it isnt exactly that way you know.
All i want is from the real heart of yours.

I've no idea who causes it; you? poly? people around you?
I guess i can only blame myself for ________.

Whatever it is, so numb; prepared for the worst.
Perhaps like what my dad said, make use of me for the 3 yrs in school to help & ditch me aside upon graduation.

Shut the fuck up everyone, i don't need your comforts nor concern.

2010-04-16T13:03:00.005+08:00

Difficult times to breathe now.
Guess i gotta tolerate with everything?
When will all these end?

God, it's hurting.

I'm feeling very tired everyday.

Sometimes i think i shouldn't give a damn much so i wouldn't feel anything eh?

But why the negligence when u've school or friends?

Come & go as you like, need help & find me.

Aftermath, nah.

Why is it such a disappointment?

Am i even someone to you?

2010-04-13T18:00:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought i was invincible.

Why can't you be more initiative at times?

If it doesn't really matters, i wouldn't 've bothered thinking about it already.

2010-04-13T09:55:00.002+08:00

It was a hard line to walk, but i've to bear it thru'.

I'm so tired :(

I wanna club? Haha, it's been long since i stepped in one? Being random.

From Dec till now! Aww.

2010-04-12T11:39:00.002+08:00

I'm so shag out from work & studies.

I can't cope, i can't cope. Rah!

I need time, time & more time.

DaDa Surprise!

2010-04-08T21:45:00.002+08:00

Boooooo*** hahahaha dada..Yeah Yes we still got tons of places we haven go! we will go man wwweee dada* love you!! silly... Baby thanks alot for the bread care for dear still know dear won't eat so you bought 4 breads for dear! dear appreciate it..yummy yummy.. Gal must jy for studies soon i gonna study den we can study together liao.. Den b can teach dear dear too :) MAN U gonna win for the next few matches man rahhhh~!! Baby i will change and n be a better bf i will prove to you de. hao ma? hehe... BUIBUI hugshugs*

2010-04-08T09:33:00.006+08:00

An advance birthday celebration for Char :) Cafe Cartel for dinner & Coffee Bean for a drink.

Ah! I grow fatter! :( :( :(

2010-04-06T12:21:00.000+08:00

Weekends 're normally spent with baby. Our weekly routine 'll be PSP.

Other than that, we went ...

Zoo (before he set off for aus that time)
East coast
He pan
Henderson waves
Jurong swimmin complex
Movies
Sakae sushi
Pubs
Arcade
Coffee bean (for me to study)

He has been patient with me, every sunday 'll be the time to revise my schoolwork.
& boyfriend didn't whine at all, instead, he encourages me to study.
Let's just hope the revision time passes slow while the exams pass fast.
I need more time to cope with it! 3 papers :(

Anticipatin' & would be plannin' more activities such as ..

Picnics
Jurong bird park
Universal studio
Science centre
Short getaway (provided my parents allow so!)
More movies?

We were planning to go Uni Studio this week but however, we're hungry pigs so we've decided to spend the $$ on food first instead. Hehe
This weekend gonna be a big feast? Sakura & Don Pie!
We're going to get a tent & soon together with a picnic perhaps?

Last weekend we were down to Marquee - specially supporting Manchester United pub?
Anyway, it was really an eye-opener though we wasted alot of time travellin' just to get there.
Man U fans; baby is one of 'em too thats why we were there.
Watched the 95mins soccer match between Man U & Chelsea.
Sadly, C won the match :(

Pictures of Henderson Waves & random ones first?
It was a quiet, chilling place with the nature surrounding. But u gotta climb the mountain of stairs before being able to enjoy the nature?

the bears that we caught at arcade for approximately splurging $80?

Preparin' to jump?

Yay! Finally he succeeded :D

Thank you for everything, buibui (: i appreciate your presence in my life.

2010-04-04T12:27:00.002+08:00

The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth.

2010-04-01T23:18:00.015+08:00

The last time i blogged was durin' Nov last year! That's a pretty long period. Let's see, 3 months or so! Geesh.
I've no idea why, but i kinda miss blogging so perhaps that's most prolly the reason why am here.

Sum up of the recent happenings!

1. I've job hop to becomin' an auditor at Clarke Quay now.
The colleagues here 're friendly but i just can't clique well with 'em because 96% of 'em are foreigners?!
Everyday at work is torturing for me. But i do admit i learn quite a number of stuffs at work & it definitely does helps in myACCA studies too :)
Bear with it for 2 years & i'm leaving here hopefully for a better environment/ company?
One of the Big 3 Audit Firms in S'pore perhaps? =/ dreams always appear to be a fantasy.

2. YY's 20th Birthday at Rebel & Lunar! :D

3. Mine! Teehee. Thanks for the people who came down! Most of 'em whom i invited came.
I've to specially thanks my bro & boyfriend for takin' care of me.
:) lucky to 've them both.

4. CNY's over; no pictures.

5. Kuan's & my very delayed belated birthday celebration at Mind Cafe.
Still feel appreciated though, meetups with old friends 're great. Catch-up & everything, i miss my old secondary school times, carefree life.

6. Carol's 21st birthday bash at Costa Sands

Studies 've been stressful. Two night classes per week. 3 exams durin' the period of May & June. So demoralizing, everything's not right.
When i see my classmates doing the questions with no problems at all, i feel darn stupid. I've hell lots of problems.
Why am i so slow & stupid when my parents ain't at all, i don't understand.

2010-04-01T00:03:00.002+08:00

"she's the best gf ever"

really that way?

i'm heartbroken.

but i'll bottled it all up.

i don't want quarrels anymore; im tired.

I'M THE LOUSIEST GF EVER. HAHA I KNOW (:

2010-03-31T09:00:00.007+08:00

Of what 'd happened ytd really made me feel so unworthy of his love.

I'm sorry for what'd happened.

Should we be able to overcome more obstacles & get together for long, i wouldnt treat him that way anymore.

No more to see him suffer.

Because i love you too much that it breaks my heart seeing you behaving that way.

But on the other hand, it was so heartwrenchin' knowing the facts, i could breakdown anytime anywhere.

I still don't really understand why.

I don't want to remember anything that's related to his past. Forget everything, can I?

It wasn't a happy 7 month :( i've no confidence in dreamin abt the future with him anymore.

Why 'm i feelin the pain achin in my heart still?

2010-03-30T21:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it made me wondered why things always turn out to be the unexpected.

Sometimes ignorance might be a bliss.

But when you love the person, you can't simply ignore because he matters to you that much.

I loathe it when it comes to this.

I wish i could 've ignored but i know i couldn't. How contradictin'.

When i see couples blog about their happenings (positively), i wondered why i didn't.

How i wish there's someone to share the joy and sorrow with me too.

I found the person, but it doesn't seems to be that way.
I think i'ma makin him living in agony?

Are quarrels part & parcel of relationship? (Am i askin' the obvious?)
If so, how can I minimize it?

I dislike quarrels, arguements etc, it makes me feel weird & bad aftermath.

With a bad temper like mine, i think nobody can tolerate me.
So eventually, i made their lives miserable & chose to leave.

Perhaps thats the reason why i always 'd failed relationships.

Will you ever read my blog know how im feelin'?
Guess this is the only place that i could rant my hearts out because it doesn't seems right telling anyone.

So from now on, i'll have to come here.

2010-03-28T15:42:00.001+08:00

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled, it can't be perfect again.
You can flatten the paper & try & make it as straight as you want, but it will nvr be perfect again.

2010-03-17T13:03:00.002+08:00

Surprise to see my post here?!

I'll blog real soon! You've my words.

2009-11-03T00:00:00.001+08:00

Michelle's 20th Birthday celeb at The Mint Cafe :)

Dbl O on a random friday night with colleagues :)

HongKun's 21st Birthday at Chalet :)

2009-10-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

Frankly speakin, Facebook will really do much harm to relationships.
It causes misunderstandings, arguements, quarrels, unfaithfulness, mistrust, insecurity; even the newspaper/ magazines' articles said so (if i don't remember wrongly)
When the other partner of yours is so addicted to it, yet you think that it's nothing much just like shit.
You wouldnt comprehend the reason behind why because;
people who are not addicted to FB 'll not understand how people who are addicted to FB thinks, like wise vice versa.
"It serves as an entertainment for a period of time when i'm bored". Yes, i don't admit it doesn't.

However, maybe one should learn how to control?
What's so good 'bout it? Only for desperate latters who wish to widen their social circle or rather ONLINE SOCIAL i presume?

It's just an excuse to know more people online seriously, even by looking at those pictures might arouse them.
I'm not desperate enough to facebook all the time (:
& i'm glad i'm not because should one day the relationship gone wrong, i know that it isn't because of my fault nor such silly reason that causes it.

2009-10-04T13:08:00.002+08:00

Tell me tell me;

I'm immature
I'm too sensitive
I'm not understandin' enough
I'm petty
I've bad temper
I shouldnt be in a relationship at all
I shouldn't smoke when things come to the worse
I shouldn't give a damn to anything
I shouldnt this & that, that or this

YES! PLEASE TELL ME QUICK!
Knock my senses out

A MUST WATCH!

Little baby dances to Beyonce's hit song; lovely cute gem.

2009-10-03T22:08:00.009+08:00

Ima updatin' finally since i've nothing to do at the moment :)

Final Destination 4
Blood Ties
Phobia 2

Been watchin' movies recently with babylove on weekends, spendin the time that we could only spend the day together most prolly?
Which on the other hand, miss out the nights out with the friends.
But I understand & I hope they understand that i'm in a difficult position, everyone is; sacrifices has to be made.
I believe great friends do comprehend.

& & & can someone who's kind enough please give me some great ideas as to where to go?
This country is so small & borin'.
Tiffs & quarrels 're unavoidable, but i'm glad we did made an effort to solve it everytime.

I hope i did change to the better?
My temper is soso bad as usual, it's so fook up. BOO *changingchanging* PROMISE!

Work has been a chore & i've to OT almost everyday till late :(

Pray that the compliance inspection 'll be over soon without any loops of work that i'd done.

Ashley's 21st birthday at ButterFac;

It was uber packed & she was dead drunk AGAIN

Adriel's 21st birthday on a random sat at Wine Affaire, attended with Kenneth.
That night was a bitch, it really was.
I'm so stuck like a sandwich, i wanted to help but yet it's beyond my capability.
Fucked-up.

HongKun's 21st at Pasir Ris Chalet, but i've no pictures onhand now :(

Happy 21st to Ashley & Adriel & HongKun :)

2009-09-05T01:16:00.003+08:00

*edited*

I cant believe my last update was pretty long ago.
Since I'm gettin' bored revising for LCCI Level 2 exam on 12 Sep, I shall update before continuing :)

Today's baby's birthday, hope he's enjoyin with his friends & family now.
& tmr hopefully, we'll be meeting?

18 Aug, Bro's 18th birthday! Just a mini celebration.

22nd Aug; work in the morning for pathetic 2hrs.
Met K for movie, "The Orphan" & headed to Iluma for Jesslyn's 21st at Mahattan Fish Market.

Rushed over to MeiQi's 21st birthday chalet afterthat & met K again at East Coast.

Aug 15; Zouk with Agnes & her friends for pre-celebration of her birthday on 19 Aug.
Over to Jo's place for mahjong with the clique till 6.30 in the morning.

Aug 2, Lyna's 21st at Eastvale Condo;

Okay, that's all for now :D

Hope they enjoyed this special day of theirs.
Weet.

2009-08-15T19:46:00.008+08:00

Back date;

Tues was work as usual & i went to meet Jo's friend with her at Bugis.

Weds, I took urgent leave due to some reasons so Jo did that too & we were spending our day at her former apartment, playin' Xbox. The guitar freak game is fun but it makes your fingers cramp man.

Thurs; urgent leave again. Look for Wei Guo in the afternoon with his salivating MOS Burger that he wanted.

Afterwhich, K & I headed to meet my planner, Alex at Bugis for dinner.

Suntec after with K while Alex went for his appointment. Everything's nice :)

Friday was back to work & headed to Wine Affaire after with Jo Lyn & Joshua.

I feel uber bad for makin' K travel here & there just to pass me the food, but i really do appreciate it!

Had a short chat with him before we both headed to bed.

He's not free this weekend, so i'm going clubbing with Agnes & Evon later & mahjong with Jo Lyn, Adriel, Joshua & Janice :)

Oh, a piece of good news for me; I passed my LCCI Level 1 paper with Credit which is so stupid, because it's just a few marks more to Distinction & I was aiming for D all along :(

Okay, MAI HIAM.

2009-08-10T19:14:00.006+08:00

My father disregard me as a daughter because he caught me smokin' a few mins ago?

Okay, so now i dun have a complete family or rather i don't have a family.

& i'm free from all the restrictions from tomorrow onwards.

He isn't cookin mine, everything, phone bills, food, transportation, i got to pay for myself now.

I thought it's a grief thing to 've born such a daughter like me.

HAHA-HAHA

2009-08-10T13:40:00.005+08:00

Saturday was work afterthat, over to grandma's & back to office to meet Kenneth.

'd dinner over at Katong area and then to East Coast for a stroll.

Sunday was work again, caught 'The Hangover' with Kenneth at VivoCity at 9pm.
It was a hilarious show which is quite worth the money.

Chilled after till 1am before we hailed a cab home.

Finally, today was my only holiday rest at home.
I'm getting back to sleep now, like straight after i'd my brunch.

Goodnights!

2009-08-07T22:05:00.009+08:00

Sat was Lyna's birthday party at Eastvale Condo & headed over to 519 for mahjong after.
Sun was working & sendin' Wei Guo off to his camp after dinner with Jo Lyn.
'd pizza ytd with Jo & Kaiying after work.

I went to register for my LCCI Level II Exam on Sep 12.

I'm left with not much time to cover all the chapters, arghh but my mum insisted that i should take the exam.

BALI/PHUKET/BATAM/BINTAN; I WANNA GET MY ARSE THERE!
The clique is planning on a getaway trip out of town durin' Sep, it's when the guys POP.

Aww, how i wish i can go. I'm tryin' my best to convince my mummy now.
But it doesn't seems to work at all.

What's more with my dad.

:( and and and CAT intake on Sep, argh. Everything's clash together.

Should i work on National Day? no double pay eh.

What's love, why do i need that?

2009-08-02T17:52:00.004+08:00

I didn't know quitting is hard. In fact, it's not.

The problem lies on me, havin' low will-power & determination.

I didn't know how vexed & bad-tempered i'm without smoking.

I didn't know i'll flare my temper on anyone who talks to me.
I didn't know i'll be rude to everyone.

I didn't know i wouldnt reply to anyone's messages when i can't get to smoke.

I didn't know i'll burst into tears when I can't smoke.

If i continue smokin, i'll continue breaking my mum's heart.

What should I do?

Give me motivation & will-power to quit, anyone? I'm really troubled.

2009-08-01T12:57:00.008+08:00

Met up with Wei Guo & Kai Ying together with Jolyn after work; just some chilling session.

Thurs was swimming at Wei Guo's apartment & food feast after.

Company event at Kbox yesterday with the old folks after agency meeting.

It's weird though but I realised they can be very havoc too.

Alex was the accompaniment, basically, we're in the smoking room most of the time.

On a side note, boss decided to give me a pay increment of $100 more startin' from next month.

& in order to earn more cash, I've decided to work as a telemarketer on weekends.

So right now, I'm working everyday can! :(

Mixed feelings; this girlfriend of my friend is paranoid of me which I totally 've no idea why.
Upset; my brother is down with high fever for 3 days already.
When i see him lying on bed, i can't help but to feel upset.
I will say, this is the first time i'd seen him like that.
How i wish i can take over him, so that he does not have to suffer. It hurts seeing him that way.
When i'm really too tight in financial, he's the one who lends me money & asked me not to worry 'bout him.
My brother is the best, anyone knows?

2009-07-27T18:00:00.005+08:00

Look on the bright side; friends come & go, regardless of what reasons that break the friendship up, free your hands.

I've learnt that.

So like now when i realised i just lose a close friend, i've learn to look on the optimistic side.

:) and it doesn't mean anything to me especially with that dude as a petty friend & irrelevant arguements.

2009-07-26T01:17:00.001+08:00

I've alot of pictures on hand & i'm lazy to collage :(

Dbl O;

mambo night sucks, it was a wrong choice though the drinks 're dirt cheap.
I shall let the whole lot of pictures do the talking;

Jo, Adriel, Joshua & Wei Guo came! :D

St James after; but it was a wasted trip down.

Sadly, I didn't get to join them for another round at Phuture on Weds as i've to work :(

Cabbed ahead to Jo's place for mahjong, but when i reached, Jo & Adriel were already sleeping soundly.

& i spent that mornin' away chatting with Joshua & Wei Guo.

Kayden's 21st Advanced Birthday Chalet;

Many were invited, games played, birthday song singed, bbq etc.

Few stayed over, basically the close ones. HongKun came in the mornin & we headed to the arcade after lunch, followed by NTUC.

Steamboat on 2nd night! But i'd to be home for dinner :(

Ended up, cryin' at home, wtf.

Im fat, i can't stand that face. Fuck.

Yesterday;

Dinner at HongKong Cafe & Movie 'The Haunting in Connecticut' with Wei Guo.
Since there's much time to spare, we decided to head down to Balcony for a drink.
I didn't join the clique for mahjong because of alternative week curfew.
Aww, eek.

Today;

Mama treated the family to Tian Jin Lou Restaurant for tea break.
Of course, without papa. Since when papa is around with us; he has to work 365 days.
:( & we have not been talkin' since the day i came back from chalet?

Wanted to shop around but bro was kinda petty & pissed off because of some reasons hence we took a cab home.
Everything, everyone's mood was spoiled. & now, i don't even talk to my brother.
How great can this family be.

2009-07-24T22:20:00.006+08:00

How great, my family is like havin' cold war now. & i don't really quite understand why father always get so worked up on such small matters.

One-sided jolly well don't work out.

Wtf man. I hope i'll die earlier before anyone does, be it car accident or what.

Smoke more, drink more : Stress free :D

2009-07-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

There's something wrong with blogger, like seriously.

F.U.C.K.E.D.U.P

I can't even blog in a proper way.

2009-07-16T22:36:00.006+08:00

Parents 're busy last few days settling stuffs of my 二姑.

On Monday, since papa was too tired to cook, I'd my dinner at New York New York with Jo.

Being such a greedy, we ordered way too much, couldn't finish it & we'd to cancel our fried mars bars.

Omg, i'm dyin' to eat that luh! :(

In order not to waste food, we decided to play a childish game - 'jikopa' to finish up the food.

Half-day leave on Tues for the church, i dunno what you call that but yea.

It was a heart-wrenchin' scene especially when i saw my dad's teary eyes & trembled hands.

& while readin' the verse, my heart sunk as well.

Although i'm not very close to my aunt, but I still feel the grief.

News 're out on Mon regardin' the death of my aunt but because my uncles & daddy refused to answer the reporters, they 've nth much to write.

My agent told me, 2nd uncle told dad that it was out again on today's newspaper.

Come to realise, it was my 1st uncle who told the reporters about it.
I wouldn't deny if anyone asks as it's pretty obvious; the 朱 family.

I really 've no idea why in the first place, reporters get to know about this.
Why 're people being such a busybody?

On a side note, I really feel bad & apologetic towards my aunt as well, although she's my aunt, my own aunt, but I'm afraid upon hearin' news about her from my parents.
I didn't dare to sleep alone, I didn't dare to bath nor take the lift. I'm just afraid of being alone.
I've no idea why. But the way they describe is pretty frightening. Whenever i close my eyes, i can imagine it, the scene & everything.
& that made me keep my eyes awake for a very long period of time before I became tired and fall asleep without knowing, because of the sleepless nights, i was restless at work. So i slept with my parents yesterday.

I just wish i wouldnt think that much & for a fact that she's my own aunt. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't be afraid at all, it's my OWN AUNT.
I'm such a shameful niece. I'm very sorry. But it's really within my control :(:(:(

2009-07-12T15:49:00.003+08:00

I see no reason why you should lie, how the fuck you want me to trust you with all those nonsense?

2009-07-11T00:17:00.020+08:00

Was supposedly meetin' Joshua for dinner at White Sands after his bookout.
Jo came along since her church is just somewhere nearby.

The idiotic thing was I was standin' like some idiot over there for an hr waiting for Josh.

'Never trust a NS guy', quoted from Jo.
Settled down at KFC for dinner & Adriel came to fetch us before headin' to Wine Affaire after Josh changed.
Didn't join them for mahjong after, chatted with Adriel & Josh before headin' home early.

I'm sorry WenXiang! 'll meet you the next time for movie & dinner okay? :)

Dad is feelin' uber upset because things happened out of the sudden, unexpectedly.

My aunt passed away since godknowswhen & we only found out today after making a police report.

How can it be? I'll never be able to imagine that.

Anyways, i guess dad & his siblings ain't feeling good now, it's like a sudden shock to 'em.

He even came back with red eyes & mum cried upon hearing the bad news :(

Speechless, unable to comfort them, I feel sad for them too, how can that happened.

May you rest in peace, 二姑

2009-07-09T20:39:00.003+08:00

I lost him, a friend again, what the hell is goin' on man?

2009-07-08T21:03:00.009+08:00

God must 've pity me for bein' such an asshole as i always borrow money from my mum.

Pay is way too low, can't blame me luh.

The agency of Tiger Beer Promoter job that I worked for earlier this year gave me a bonus of $88, surprisingly.

Oh ya, I finally extract my tooth & it bleed, alot.
Now, I've to wait for 1 month before I can go for x-ray & everything for braces to be done.

Mahjong at 1am on Sat with Jo. & her friends with the accompaniment of vodka & martell, all the way till 6am on Sun.

& back home at 10am before going out with Mummy for body massage & facial again.

On a side note, I made a couple of friends thru' Jo. They're nice & cool peeps who always hang out at night on weekends.

However, at the same time, I lost this friend without any linkage actually.

Or rather, I should say a fling, perhaps?

It kind of happened in either ways.

& we ain't in contact anymore though.
It's okay, it doesn't matters at all when you kept your expectations that low to an extreme.

Ar-ha, just how did i become that kind of girl.

2009-07-03T03:31:00.002+08:00

I'm here to rant a whole lot, & i really mean alot because i can only do it here & nowhere else nor talk to anyone.

So you may wish to click on the 'x' thing above & close this because i'm pretty sure it isn't something that concerns you in any way and you wouldn't wanna read these bullshits either.

Save your words & concerns, i don't need that.
Frankly, everyone has their own expectations & feelings, so even if you meant good, thanks i'm sure i do appreciate it, especially to those people who talked to me in the mornin' & afternoon.

But please, not to tell me all those logics that i used to hear, it isn't gonna do any help at all.

Everyone needs freedom, so do I. There's always a limit to controlling someone's freedom.

I don't need much but i need more.

Parents refused to let me out & stay overnight outside just because I AM A FUCKIN' BITCH.

So tell me what's so good about being a female?

I rather be a man.

I work on every weekdays, I study on every Tues & Thurs.

I only get to rest on weekends, i only get to enjoy on weekends.
But it doesn't seems so just because of the restriction from my parents.

So tell me what's the use of studying so hard?

Study hard, Play hard.

Isn't that so?

Whatever it is, i might not be studyin' anymore & i shall see what can i do next.

& i wanna look for part-time jobs for weekends.

Screw everything that's happening.

I'm happy when i'm out, they're angry & worried when i'm out & that eventually makes me feel unhappy.
They're happy when i'm home, but i'm angry when i'm home and will they feel unhappy for me?

NAH.

2009-06-29T15:37:00.010+08:00

Can the ex-boyfriends i loathe kindly put a stop to all the texting of goodnight msgs if you see this?
Or at least make some sense to it.

I'm really not in the mood to see all those.

It's effing irritatin' to me when the moment i woke up, it's your names that appeared in my screen but all in all, it isn't him & never will it be.

You guys get it now? I plead for this request, sincerely.

2009-06-28T22:32:00.004+08:00

IndoChine with Agnes, Ashley, Darc, Evon & Ken for dinner & a drink at 8pm.
Wine Affaire with Jolene, her boy & their friends for drinking at 10.30pm.

It was that borin' yesterday, I didn't get drunk at all. I was still pretty sober because i didn't drink much.
4 shots, 3 glasses of wine tar straight by jo's boss, Adrian & boy, Adriel.
& when i reached there, jo's head was already throbbing badly so she slept while the guys accompanied me outside for a smoke & drink.

Had a nice chat with Adriel & i got to know more about how NS guys feel.
I should 've been more understanding though, so what now?
It can't salvage the things i'd said to him, it can't salvage the coldness between us.

2nd round was cancelled as jo felt like sleeping, hence they drove me home first despite the far journey.
Thanks for the ride home man :)

Since it was only 2.30am & i never thought of gettin' home that early, i loittered under my void deck.
Before my friend came to look for me, there's these 3 guys who came & sat with me.
& they're cute, more like only 1 is good-looking. Guys 're guys, it's always those dirty talks.
but anyway, ya chatted & everything.

Back home at 4am,
& i'm still feeling as troubled as before.

Dad called & nagged at me for bein' home late.
& yes, he just finished his scoldings. I'm really feelin' super down.
Now how i wish my parents doesn't give a heck 'bout me even if i were to die.

FFFUUUUCCCCKKKK MAN

2009-06-27T15:49:00.005+08:00

Hurhur! Pictures of the camp :)

Lots more, but ima lazy to upload :(

Weds

Pasta Mania for dinner & a few drinks at Blue Ocasis with Laykuan, Michelle & Yunyann.
Nice catchup & everything. Michelle, you're the kick yo!

Everyone around me has a partner, all my colleagues 're either attached or married! WTF.
Why why why?! I'm feelin' so uncomfortable seeing it.

But i just gotta accept that i don't have a boyfriend. No hurries though.

A really frustrating week. Work, friend, studies, brother, parents.
Everything everything everything, just everything!
Work is such a chore.

Friend, yes him, i dunno what happened, but it seems that everything had turn so cold. I'm tryin' hard not to give a damn at all, but it's difficult.

Accounting isn't getting into my mind, im not doing homework & i learn nth. Basically, i'm just wastin my mum's hard-earned money.
Brother nags at me, mum too. If not, it'll be dad.

I just don't understand why my mum loves to bring up that topic, it's always about smokin that makes her cried.
& I SERIOUSLY HATE TO SEE HER CRY IN FRONT OF ME.
Arr, wtf is this, that 'll make me smoke even more.
But i'm not tryin to quit on my part either, i admit. I'm buyin' 5 packs a week, that's pretty much of a heavy one.
I'm really kind of stress these few weeks! Oh god, clear my doubts please.

I'm fuckin' gonna drink tonight, super pek chek. Make sure i get drunk!

2009-06-21T22:53:00.007+08:00

Friday evening was a boring one at work, so i went to facebook & saw jia en's tag!
Such a last min thingy, i went to her church camp at night :D
It was superb, havin' to know the friendly peeps over there.

We stayed up the whole night, playin' games & chatting.

& i slept for an hr plus in the mornin, super lethargic while Jia En & the rest didn't catch a wink at all.

I love Jia En! We chatted & caught up with one another. I can tell her anything under the sun.
It's been ages since we last met up & hardly talked at all but this camp really somehow makes me feel like the one i went 1 or 2 years ago.

It just reminds me of the good old times in RP with her & definitely feels like we're back to it again.

Thanks for inviting me to the camp, jia en & the great ones who organised it :)

Next up,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL MUMMY & HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DADDY!
YOU GUYS 'RE BEING LOVED BY US!

This year was a special one. Mummy requested to go to kbox because she wants to sing.
Cool, so we headed down to Ehub's after i returned from camp.
& papa came to look for us after his work.

Hope my parents enjoyed themselves as much as I do!
I love you two always, so do bro <3

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.

& my apology to Jolene, didn't get to join her ytd for a drink at Wine Affaire with her friends.
Next weekend perhaps?

2009-06-19T12:08:00.003+08:00

I need more $.$ puh-lease, puh-lease.
With the amount of salary i get every month is not enough for me to survive at all :(
& bracessssssss soooonnnn with the first installment of $1000.

Boss is on a holiday at Bangkok now, I hope he 'll be quarantined for a week or so.
Definitely not tryin' to be mean here, but i detest the way he malign me yet i can't voice out.

& i spent the whole morning yesterday lookin' for jobs relatin' to accounting;

Accounts Assistant/Clerk/Auditor/ Internal Auditor/ AP Accounts

Hopefully at least one gets back to me?

I've the urge to discontinue my studies. I just can't cope havin' to work & study at the same time.

& what's more, mummy wants me to study full-time. But just the thought of it makes me feel restless.

Why 'm i so affected by you?

It shouldn't be that way, isn't it?

I should have never thought that will happen at all, yea?

Arr, what's with all these man!

2009-06-16T21:51:00.003+08:00

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.

2009-06-14T21:05:00.003+08:00

Met Jo again for some shoppin' at Bugis today!

GSS RIGHT NOW eh, how to resist?!

But i'm super broke now after gettin' so many loots, it's only mid of the month. Like wtf luh!

How to survive with just $100plus?!

I've still yet to buy my slippers & bags etc etc.!
So many things in mind yet so little cash in hand. Arr, sad.

Training tmr at CFE Head Office with the other secretaries. Work is exhaustin me out.
& i hate my boss, so what if he's MingSong's dad. Who gives a damn?!
Totally a different kind when he first interviewed me & after employing me.
My tolerance level has reached long ago.

Alright, drop that. I need an early rest tonight :) G.O.O.D.N.I.G.H.T

No idea why i'm affected by it so much
but you broke my trust today

2009-06-14T10:58:00.004+08:00

Just how many times i've to get wasted for every night of a few drinks.

That seriously, isn't a good one.

Met up with Jolene for dinner ytd at Secret Recipe before thinkin' of which pub to go.

Since everyone has no idea, impromtu decision to head over to her part-time workplace at Wine Affair.

Not much of my type; peaceful & quiet. I prefer those with blasting music which makes my heart beat though!

Met her guy friends over there & had 2 Vodka Mango shots, half-glass of wine & i'm alr burnin' red.

Fuck that shiat, it ain't nice to be a lousy drinker.

'd 9 in total, 'Indian Poker' & 'I Never' forfeit games.

I threw up again. It sucks, looks like congee somehow.

Cab-bed home & i'm so apologetic to him that i went up first before he reached my block, i really need some rest desperately :(

No pictures taken, i'm real dead.

I hope i'm not fallin' for him though.

2009-06-08T03:00:00.001+08:00

I'm supposed to 've class today, but i skipped it, like again.

Caught Blood, the last vampire with MingSong & Jolene at MarinaSq.
The killings were uber gross but the blood was super fake, too much bubbles =/

Anyhow, I like the cast. It was nice :)

& i'm still on the line now. zomg, i think i'll be drained out tmr at work.
Goodnights

i'm pretty much affected by you, your everything.

2009-06-07T11:37:00.014+08:00

My exam paper is finally over! :D
Though it isn't that tough, accounting is always standard Qs & format, yet i don't know how to do MOST OF 'EM.

How am i supposed to score a distinction?!

Whatever it is, it's over.

& IT'S PARTY TIME NOW!

Went Zouk last night with Agnes, Ashley & their friends. Uber borin' at first, not knowing all.
But it got alot more fun after we drank & headed to the dancefloor.

Headed home first at 2.30am & cab driver is such a kind soul to 've had ask me whether am i alright to go up alone, whats more with the taking care & be careful.

Thanks Uncle! I hope you don't cheat my $$, i didn't check the change you gave me =/ lol.

On a side note, I've been watching Boys Over Flowers because of two suave guys!
Really HOT & CUTE i swear, just can't take my eyes off 'em.

Korean guys 're so handsomeeeeee with this hairstyle, mygosh.
Tell me, who can resist?

you're lookin at someone else yet

you've no idea of my feelings like this

2009-05-30T20:15:00.001+08:00

I'm TRYIN' to mug hard =/

Exam this comin Monday! Ohmy, wish me luck.

2009-05-27T21:51:00.011+08:00

I'm bad yesterday, was supposed to go for class but I went for movie with MingSong at E!Hub instead.

Since his 'Monsters VS Aliens' has no show timing at all, we caught 'Night at the Museum 2'.
A hilarious show, not that bad.

Had dinner at Fish & Co Express, didn't know there's such until he told me so.

Imagine we reached there at 7.20pm & the movie was only startin' at 9.20pm.
Woah, we chatted for 2 long hours & being a gentleman he is, he carried my bag the whole day :D

Really thanks to him.
The bag was so freakin' heavy, adding on to the killin' heels that made my toe bleed for the 2nd time :(

Train terminated at 11.30pm & yea, cabbies earned. I'm super broke! My bank left $1.58.

Pay day is coming, i must bear with a few more days. Oh fook.

2009-05-24T00:12:00.001+08:00

I LAID MY FOOT OUT OF MY DOOR, I DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL!

MingSong can't wake up on time to accompany bro to get his black belt for tae-kwon-do.

So I went instead. I'm proud of my brudder :D

Spot him! The guest-of-honour is tying the black belt for him! He's just infront :)

After the session ended, down to town to shop & met MingSong over there.
Initial plan was to movie, but no suitable timin' hence stroll around, arcade & dinner before headin' home.

The weather is humid tonight. Gees.

2009-05-23T18:54:00.001+08:00

I've decided to spend the LAST four weekends at home, studying.
& yes, what's more. NO LIFE AT ALL.

I've been studying since 12.30pm to be exact & supposedly, only takin a break now :(

21 Chapters to revise, 10 more to go.

Exams 're round the corner, just 2 more weeks left.

Omfg, i'm gonna strive hard, really hard to meet my mother's expectations - A DISTINCTION.

I think it's more likely i'll get a FAILED GRADE for my papers.

Hey! LCCI Level 1 only leh! How am i gonna survive to getting ACCA when i'm already struggling for my Level 2?!

Kill me please.

2009-05-18T23:53:00.004+08:00

First of all, I HATE XI PING. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE & FARK OFF.

Oh-kay, hehe. Sat was a stupid one, 'll know why later.

"Angels & Demons" & dinner with Deanson at Suntec.

Great catchin-up & thanks for the treats yea.

Afterwhich, TM to meet myBro, Ming Song, Lip Kio & Daniel for movie.
& it's really silly, i watched "Angels & Demons" again as well as Ming Song.
Can you imagine that?! Again leh! Zzz :( Moreover it's so draggy, oh my arse.

The guys decided to head down to Katong for a few rounds of billiard.

Reached home at only 5.45am & headed to bed without bathin', eek.

It's nice havin' to hang out with all; guys i knew since 16.

& & & I wanna watch 'Drag me to hell' & 'The Uninvited'.
Anyone anyone? Text me alright :D

I'm left with limited time to prepare for exam, anxious yet i can't study at all.
Tired after work & school. Even though i'm at home durin' weekends but i still can't refrain myself from touching my lappy.
Oh my tian, give me the power to study!

MY BOSS IS BACK FROM SOUTH AFRICA TODAY. It's my last day to relax & chill.
NO quarantine for them :( busy week days 're comin'!

Thank god i chose not to go with you.
if not, you might not be able to rest at all.
it's for your own good :) hope you understand.

2009-05-15T00:07:00.002+08:00

I'm super upset with my teeth now!

Decided to visit the dentist today before going for work since the pain 'd been ongoing for couple of days & it gets unbearable at times.

Did an X-ray; the doctor says that they've to pluck the root of my painful tooth & followed by gum surgery.
Or alternatively, i can choose to pluck the whole tooth out.

My 3 wisdom tooths 're growing out soon.
So i guess, in a couple of weeks, it's gonna hurt & i'm gonna have them plucked out again.

& if i've the intention of putting braces, i've to pluck another 4 tooths.

All in all, i've 8 tooths to pluck! Omg, i think i'm going bo gay soon :(

I love working because I've accompaniment :D
Ming Song came down today again! Hee, much appreciated as he waited for me to knock off at 9pm,
oh & thanks to his bro, for the ride home.
please come on Monday to accompany me!
Uncle Pey Yao wouldn't be around so i'll be alone in the office. *gheesh*

2009-05-14T13:01:00.002+08:00

He wants to get the wtp for me when he knows i like it,
he massage me when im tired.
Omg!
How can i not like him more?! :(

2009-05-13T21:01:00.023+08:00

Ming Song came down to the office & accompanied me today, so sweet of him! :D

Pretty bored alone at times. So, I had him to talk cock with although he keeps bullyin me most of the time.
But sadly, he's not coming tmr because he has medical checkup; enlisting in army soon :(
arr, i think i'll be restless at work.

Seeing him unable to eat because of his braces, kinda pitiful eh.

I'm afraid the same thing might happen to me in a few weeks' time.
Because imma going for braces soon. Woo, but am looking forward to eat congee everyday so that hopefully,
i can lose some weight & shed some fats off, teehee.

**************************

On a separate note,

I'm falling more & more for a particular guy! BTH. Sometimes he's just so cute & gentleman.
I just can't resist! Oh shiat. I'm insane. Fancy eye-ing on someone younger.
But you know, when you already had those wrong feelings that you shouldn't have in the first place, &
the things he did to me, the way he talked to me, the way he treated me,
the way how close he's to me, sometimes just by standing right beside me, i can even smell his body scent know!
I just can't describe that feelin' luh. But I know it's impossible!
& i know he can't be my bf because he knows everything of mine, even the ones which only my close dudes knew about.
I guess it did gave him a bad impression of me through those embarrassing stuffs, so he wouldn't want me! :(
Seriously, i don't know why i became like this after i got closer with him. Desperate or what?! Lol.

Get it off your mind yunying.

It's not gonna work.

2009-05-13T11:21:00.002+08:00

Super tired, miss the jog this morning.

Anyways, yesterday's class was cancelled due to my cute teacher not feelin' well.

Went to meet yunyann for movie at E!Hub :D & my boss's son/bro's friend, Ming Song tag along with me.
17 AGAIN! Woots, effin' effin' suave can!
Omg, omg! See the smooth hair!
See the 'just-nice' bodyshape!
See the beautiful eyes!
See the woah woah woah, everything everything everything. It seems so perfect eh!

Hee, okay i better stop before I continue those fetish for him again.

Now i wanna SCOLD someone! That LIM LAY KUAN ar, you idiot you idiot!
How can you dua us, like always! You say you're free on weekdays & exams 're over de leh!
Then now liddat?! Eek, you kukubirddyy. *BAH i hate you too. haha.

Whenever i'm feeling not right, i started pondering about the past.
Other than havin' insane jealousy, am i really that bad?

Yea, perhaps i can't make it; to be a good gf till my boy gotta go to an extent of..

the most shockin reason i ever heard.

prolly more of these in the future.

then cars, bang me as you wish please.

TELL ME WHAT'S SO PRETTY 'BOUT HER?

TELL ME WHAT'S SO GOOD 'BOUT THEM?

KNNBPCB, I HATE YOU I DETEST YOU.

I HOPE YOU GET AIDS.

2009-05-11T21:42:00.005+08:00

I think i'm fallin for him, but i cant i cant i cant!

He's younger than me! :O

2009-05-11T19:55:00.015+08:00

I'M GONNA RANT

I want freedom, freedom, freedom!

Freedom, when 'll i get it? 30 years old or when i'm married?

I would really prefer a more carefree life with nobody controlling me but i know it's never possible.
When things turn out to be the other way round without parents bothering or caring at all, I might think differently perhaps.
But i'm sure without anybody controllin' is always BETTER than havin' you tied down way too much.

Right?

My dad has been repeating quite a number of times that once he'd found a job at HK, he's gonna migrate over since his sisters 're there.

& something he said left an impact there;
"I'll just treat it as i do not have any wife or kids so that i'll be able to leave without any much thoughts/worries"
My first reaction was to look at mum, she looks alright, but i know she just wanna be silent.

So i questioned her; "you really wouldn't mind if dad leaves you?"
"If that's what he really wants; if thats the only thing that can make him happy or less stressful, why not just let it be." she said

I've an understanding mum & i know her character well.
She wouldn't force someone if that person is unwilling, in short, she'll let go.

& again, i pop another Q. "Will you leave with him?"

She said; "Maybe yes, maybe no"

I'm imagining life without my parents by my side.

Will it still be the same? Will i miss them? I guess i'll.

But will life be better? Will my life be even more carefree without havin' to "report" whenever i'm out?

Maybe it'll, maybe it'll not.

I might be thinkin' too much yea.

When will my parents let go of me & not havin' to worry for me?

I don't mind not havin' a boyfriend, but i mind not havin any freedom.
Fark! I'm emo tonight.

2009-05-10T22:58:00.006+08:00

Oh ya,

Happy Mothers' Day!

Kill me please! I just spent $144 on online shoppin'. I'm super broke now.

I guess mama too! She just bought 2 pairs of footwear for me.
:(

I'd a super fierce arguement with dad yesterday.
Sigh, it wasn't my fault you know but i shouldn't 've use vulgarities on him as well.

Afterall, my parents 're right, he's my father.
Fuck me alright, i'm an unfilial daughter. YES, ME!

I do appreciate what they'd did to nurture me till today with sacrifices but whenever my temper reacts, i can't control.
I'm really really hot-tempered, why can't i just be like mummyyyy & brotherrrr...

Omfg, i think i've grown fatter, alot more. I'm still considering of visiting a doctor & get slimming pills. Should I?

Mas Selamat was caught! Oh so random.

我为你付出眼泪流无数
你何必假装不在乎
如果真心不能够跟你说清楚
难道我就这样认输
我为你付出我一个人哭
只要你过得很幸福
如果真心还是不能够说清楚
当泪流干以后我认输

2009-05-07T23:06:00.006+08:00

MY VIRGIN CLUBBIN' WAS TO PHUTURE! :D

Weds night, music was superb, four lovelies. A tad too few, but the night was totally wasted.

Could remember vaguely though.

Open numbers, loser drinks! Get yourself high yea?

This is cute; one minute he's so energetic,

the next minute he got wasted, lol.

Dance Floor, here we were. Open numbers again, loser LC. But I reckon some 're voluntary.
High & kinky, lost control.

the loves.

My sexy bitch.

OUT to catch some breath & for me, to puke 4 times.

Andy's self obession;

I really 've no idea why & when i pointed that but sorry babe, i covered your face :(

Hee, it definitely feels better after puking. But crying is always in the process of vomitting.
One minute i feel okay & looks alright, but another minute, i felt giddy again.
Lousy drinker, you should say? :(

Okay, i know yy 'd a hard time wakin' me up in cab.
But i swear i was kind of sober when i was drenched, it was pouring that heavily, gosh.
& i went to bed immediately though dad was naggin'.

I'm sorry if i did cause you guys trouble or do anything silly! :(

Totally can't take it for work the next day, but neither can i take leave.
Sacrificing his sleeping hours, my brother accompanied me to the office before headin' to school just to help me get done with the production stuffs while i was sleeping at one of the cubicle, because i ain't feelin' too good.
I slept most of the time during classes at night aftermath too, woah.
Hee, i realised i've a sweet bro.

He msged me on that night askin' me to be careful & he will wait for me.
& the next morning, he accompanied me to the office & rush the important work for me.
loves;

2009-05-02T03:10:00.004+08:00

Met Shiqi at night, to town to get her bro's present before meetin' the rest of the peeps at FarEast.
Accompanied her to Shin Bar for the birthday celebration of her bro.
Many people came down, got to know some peeps over there.
Drink drank drunk, Martell VSOP 3 Litres; cool.
Reached home at 2am. Phew, dad's asleep. But i was red all over & I can't sleep at all. Eek.

I didn't know her god-brother in person. But still, though he wouldn't get to see this,
Happy 20th Birthday Ming Cheng :)

A super cool song my friend introduced;

"Smile"

When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha do that for)
When you first left me I didn't know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me you say that you want me back
And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack
I couldn't stop laughing, no I just couldn't help myself
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

it's haunting me

2009-05-02T01:02:00.000+08:00

I was kanna caught smokin' again by mum, how stupid can i get.
& it's so fuckin' nbcb because i'm in the midst of throwin the stick since i'd my last puff already.
Arr, wasted. Same old things happened again & again.
I dunno how to solve it, neither can i quit.

Whatever it is luh.
Don't compared me with my friends who don't smoke, because i'm not as fortunate as them who 've no peer influence nor troubles.
Don't compared me with guys just because they don't 've to give birth; that's a silly excuse why they can continue smokin.
It's so ridiculous.

Impromptu decision to 've a gatherin over at grandma's house & then to one of my aunt's.

Mahjong Mahjong Mahjong till 12am.
I'm a noob compared to 'em but i won a 6 tai & a 自摸 5 tai; hehehe.

Cool.

2009-04-29T10:40:00.003+08:00

can't breathe :(

2009-04-28T00:06:00.001+08:00

My boss is at Jakarta since Monday! Freedom freedom! Weee..

Hehe!

*TWIST*

ps: I'm bored luh!

& & & even IF i'm super duper desperate for a bf, i'll never accept a 41 years old man who 'd a son & wife although they'd divorce already. It's his problem should he'd a 18 years old gf before.
So please, for goodness sake, don't try to be so happenin and matchmake us.
I must be out of my mind if I accepted him. But for now, i'm still as clear, so NO.
Unless he's some billionaire, then perhaps i'll consider for the sake of money. LOL, just just just kiddin!

2009-04-27T23:39:00.016+08:00

Darlin' Evon's 21st Birthday Party at Costa Sand Resort; woo, wreck the house down man.

Since we're the earliest group to reach, why not just SNAP?!

'd yummy-licious food prepared/cooked by Evon's parents! & the BBQ stingray, omg.

Accompaniment of lovely peeps: Hong Kun, Wei Quan, Agnes & Mei Yean.

The night is still young, as ever. Heart attack games with Heinken, Pasir Ris Park for a walk etc.
But the weather isn't doin' great! It was effin' humid, perspire throughout.

Left the chalet at 11plus & i went to meet Chris for smokin' session.
I believed i smoke alot these days, i'm waitin' for the day to die man.
Her neighbour, Eric came & joined us at 1am.
Drained out when i'm back home but only slept at 3plus AM :(

Last but not least, Happy birthday pretty-aye.
Hope you like the present & enjoy eh :) I love you.

Aww, so sweet, isnt it?! May this compatible pair of lovely dovely lasts forever :) blessings!

Costa Sand has brought kinda disgustin' memories to me. In which to say, unhappy ones aftermath.

When i was asleep at 3.15am, I dreamt of that sex manic & even in the dream, it was so hurtful.
In some way or another, i can still feel the pain i felt on that day. But that doesn't mean i still love him.
Just that it'd reached the maximum extent that one could hardly tolerate the tears.
The words from his mouth, attitude etc. Basically everything is similiar to scenes in reality when i was with him.
You once told me: in a relationship, both must give & take at times.

Not trying to compare the amount of times each of us 'd gave & took.
But note that, the one who's giving in more is me & the one who's taking me for granted is you.
It's a total waste of time to tell you all about this because it's as though you'll know your mistake or even reflect on it.

YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT, ISN'T IT?
I reckon i must be damn dreadful to be with someone so 'happenin' in a different way.
Just treat it as a lesson learnt, i'll.

Fortunately, my alarm at 6am woke me up for the mornin' jog with Chris & Eric.
I'll never want to continue such nightmares.

Let me rant, just this once/twice/whatever, it's gonna be the last.

2009-04-26T17:05:00.001+08:00

Eh hey! I'd a chat with Ming Song, bro's friend, who worked as a part-timer in Great Eastern too.

& what i heard from him was a super duper BIG motivation for me to study accounts with no regrets, i hope?

I wanna be an accountant, get my cert of higher than degree and earn $20k per month!

Please god! Pleaseee! :P

Woots. I can continue dreamin'!

Anyways, was at darlin's birthday party & received a call from Ren Sheng!

2 weeks ago, he's in for army, was pretty much surprised to receive his call that we talked for half an hr or so?
Hope he's doing great aite.

When's zoo, HuangHui?! hee.

2009-04-23T21:15:00.003+08:00

YUNYING MUST BE HARPIE! RAH!

Eh i'm crazy these days - Single is the dope!
Flirt all you want, bed anyone you like, like everything & everything with no-one botherin' at all.
Best of the best is not havin' to worry anything.
Eh, but seriously guys these days 're irritatin' enough.
Msn didn't reply, sms. Sms didn't reply, msn. & it's like a routine to 'em! Everyday without fail.
Can't they just get the hint & stop all these, i'm feelin' sick of it.

Alright, so back to the main.
Provided I'm ABLE TO meet the correct someone/the one i can spend my entire life with.
Wait a minute, rephrase; or rather the one whom i can spend my entire life with HAPPILY.
Without any stupid nonsenses or hurtful stunts up, I'll be grateful to god.
But i doubt i'll ever thank god, because guys nowadays ain't that good neither 're they non-bastards.
My own dad is already one bastard to prove.

It's difficult to find a good one.
Out of a gazillion, perhaps none.

Anyways, i'm enjoyin' singlehood now! & forever, 'll it be if it should be.

I'm not envious of other couples, i know few 'll last.
So what if they last till marriage? Divorce only what, as easy as a peanut.
But who says one 'll die without love?
Just simply think whatever you can about me, be it actin' tough or savin' face or self-comfortin'.
So what?

Silly people die just because they lack of love.

2009-04-22T23:29:00.001+08:00

I gave my best to you, but the best ain't enough.

Why?

2009-04-21T21:22:00.002+08:00

Words 're just a form of deception, i rather not be told.

2009-04-20T21:47:00.005+08:00

'Jaded people like me who 'd fallen in and out of love too many times to know that love is nothing but a curse.
So enjoy your fairytale while you can because nothing lasts forever.'

2009-04-19T19:57:00.007+08:00

Somehow of a relief & happy today! Woke up feelin' nothing's right, but once my menses came, i'm super elated!

Like finally! Thank god.

Out with Mummy in the afternoon to TM1 & i got my loots. Except that i can't find a proper heels for work :(

Gonna search again soon. I need it desperately, short height is the point you see.

Joggin joggin joggin! I must must must lose weight!

Work tmr again! Why are weekends that fast? I've yet to do my revision, hurhur.

forget but not forgive

2009-04-16T22:43:00.020+08:00

Man, full-time work is great, at least i'm occupied on weekdays, standard routine everyday.
Workin' at Great Eastern Insurance Company as a secretary cum admin assistant for a director.

Colleagues 're fantastic as well. Superb lunch khakis, all smokers which makes me easier to interact with 'em.

Boss 'll be back from Jakarta tmr, reckon it's gonna be a busy friday.
Sat working for Miss Emily, she needs help.
LCCI Accounting Level 2 commence on 28th feb, gonna start revisin' soon, i've forgotten everything.

Everything's so random; who bothers.

My office! :D

what kind of effect is that, no idea, for fun.

I'm as pale as a whitely ghost, I'm as fat as a pig, no diff.
& who gives a damn, again. I've learnt to care less.
& fuck shit, my menses hasn't come yet. Gosh.
This will be the first time i prayed that my menses come asap. Lol.
Bye!

2009-04-14T21:52:00.011+08:00

Read this; Old man’s bottle mishap leads to his death.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/3/26/nation/3556615&sec=nation

A BIG WOAH, isn't it? 77 years old somemore.

May i know why the fuck 're some guys that fuckin' horny to the extent?

I need some 'enlightment', you shall call it.

It makes me think of him, surprisingly.

It's stupid to use a bottle.
Irregardless of how small or short is your cock, it can never be compared to the tip size of the bottle.
Use a wiser way to masturbate, extremely horny bastards.

i just wanna take a little breather, am not feelin' too good.
A stroll by the beach, can i?

2009-04-13T22:22:00.006+08:00

I seriously 've no idea why some guys 're that son-of-a-bitch.

If i'm a guy, i wanna be a bastard.
& i so wanna be a guy!

The scene has been repeatin' & swirlin' in my head these few days especially when i'm alone.

I'm not upset over it, really. I'm just affected by it.
I'm a human afterall, i do feel the grief sometimes as well.

Get over it & smile. Life still has to move on. Jiayou miss choo! :)

2009-04-11T10:52:00.007+08:00

Pop a flu pill & drink a can of Carlsberg is the kick yo.

Yay, wassup.

Last tues met up with the girls after work at Bugis.
'd Ajisen for dinner & strolled around before headin' home.

Though it was just shortwhile but i'm glad to see 'em. Thanks for the comfortin' words/advices as well.

Happy Belated Birthday Maggie :)

2009-04-08T04:19:00.007+08:00

I'M OFFICIALLY GRADUATED FROM RP! Class '09.

Like finally, after sufferin' for 3 years. Thank god, I passed despite not attendin' lessons often.
I think i might never go back to RP, especially somewhere so far away from me.
I shall let the pictures do the talking eh, nothing much to talk about anyway
& i'm way too lazy to collage :(

unprepared for the camera, opps.

I hate that stupid pimple near my nose, what a good timin' isn't it? Boo.

Gonna get on bed now, fall sick last few days, gotta wake up tmr at 8am for work still :(

2009-04-08T01:38:00.001+08:00

Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me
Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie

I just wanna be NUMB
I don't wanna feel a thing
I don't want reality
Actually, reality stinks

The thought/sight of you makes me upset.
Whenever i think of what you'd did, to hurt me, i feel gone-case.
You're so heartless, wtf.

What makes you 've the right to ask for forgiveness when at that point of time, you ain't feelin' least of guilty.
I'll never, NEVER forgive you,
even if i do, i'll never, NEVER trust you again.

because you do not know how to appreciate at all,

because i'm not happy when i'm with you for this one month.

I'm back to normal mode now, no distractions, 'm not feelin' anything either.
All i wanna do is to concentrate on my studies & work.
I'm not givin' a damn.

-CHECKLIST-
He's faithful - wrong X.
He's good, nice & caring - wrong X.
His family background is good - correct Y.
He's very close to his family - correct Y.
His family is always at the first - correct Y.

His friends are always at the first - correct Y.
He only thinks for himself - correct Y.
He always thought that he's the right one - correct Y.

I LOATHE YOU BECAUSE YOU WASTED MY TIME.
I DESPISE YOU BECAUSE YOU DID THOSE STUFFS.
I know it's right to leave you early. Just get lost of my life & i'll love you even more for that.
It's the end, enough said.

I just hope i ain't _____ *prays*

2009-04-07T22:52:00.001+08:00

When 'll the retribution ends?

2009-04-03T23:17:00.007+08:00

I'm not looking forward to graduation ceremony.
I'm not interested in anything at all, totally no mood.

Mon; work commence at Great Eastern.

Tues; meetin' Miss Emily babes after work.

17th, meetin' them again for dinner.

23rd, partyworld with 'em, janet's bf & friends.

Woots, 'm i lovin' them or what?

Last day of work at Miss Emily, miss those crazy bitches.

Goodnights peeps. i'm feelin nausea again :(

2009-04-02T23:48:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling utterly bad, boo yunying boo.

2009-04-01T23:47:00.007+08:00

Work today was fuckin' slack, most of the time i was either stonin' or down smokin'.

Too vexed to keep myself awake.

& i know i'm super pale right now, totally lethargic.
I even charged wrong prices to several customers. What happened?

I fall asleep ytd immediately after drinkin' a can of Tbeer with a cigarette just right beside me.

Fortunately, i'd janet & andrea to accompany me on phone at times since they're working at Bugis.
& many thanks for the concern, friends.

I wanna drink, JIO ME, SWEE EH LEH.

2009-04-01T09:15:00.007+08:00

I thought, thought things got better after those messages.

But, but never 'd i thought it's even worse & torturing.

Changed, changed to another person whom i much dislike.

But, but i'm bearing with it before knowin' the truth.

I swear, swear i wouldn't wanna spend my life with this.
And, and i rather be single than attached.

Too shag, i don't feel like botherin' but i can't bear to.

I'mma tryin' to keep myself busy to prevent from ponderin' heart-wrenching matters.

You rather go for friends, than me.

It breaks my heart havin' to know you. REGRETS.

It breaks my heart in this relationship, i'mma giving up from NOW ONWARDS.

Message me whenever you want, call me whenever you feel like.
I'm not giving a damn, my job is to reply & answer, that's all.

I need tiger, tiger beer every night to fall asleep asap.
Please stop the tears from fallin'.

I must not & wouldn't shed a single tear for you.

COOL FUCK SHIAT, IT'S AN EMO POST.
I'm very gek sim now, please don't talk to me.

2009-03-31T11:34:00.012+08:00

I'm so HAPPY, i lost 5kg, teehee.
But on a side note, was wondering has it been due to my irregular meals or

problems occurin' that made me lost my appetite?

I look alright, what's more with the super fine look. Deep down, i'm upset.

Something that i chose not to accept but i've to bear with it; damn it
just because you think you're right & you didn't want it my way,
just because all you can come up with 're excuses & you think i'm foolish,

just because you broke my trust & dream of being with you,
just because all you 'd ever think of 're solely for your family & friends but not me,
just because you think it's gonna affect others but not me,

just because you think it ain't overboard to treat me that way but it is, to others.

just because you think it doesn't hurts to treat me this way but it does, to others.

How bad can my life be? I've already 'd high tolerance level & its gonna exceed it's limit soon.
Don't try me please.

Alright, enough nonsense.

I went for an interview today at my bro's current work location & i'm selected as an admin assistant :)

'll be starting work on 6th of april, Mon as i'm working for Emily on weds, thurs & fri.

Hopefully nothing goes wrong & so saddenin';

NO mahjong on mon with hongkun & the rest, NO girls' night out on tues with Miss Emily part-timers :(

Nevertheless, i wanna earn lots of money,

& get this mp3; YP-K5. Mine 'd long spoilt.
Music is my life, i can't live without it, woo.

I saw this song, 坏人 at kuan's blog & i love it too!

Especially these 2 sentences; i think it best suits ***blahblahblah.

容忍的人其实并不笨只是宁可对自己残忍

不能放任所以放了这点痛我还能忍

2009-03-30T01:28:00.005+08:00

I'mma back from chalet! Baby's birthday on the 2nd night :)

The celebration of baby's birthday at night when most of his friends & relatives 're present.

Got to know 'em & they're mostly friendly peeps. There's more but he didn't take pictures with them, hurhur.
It was quite a borin' night for me though as he was the host & 'd to entertain & all.
Fortunately, Kelly accompanied me. Thanks babe!

papa was naggin' at me from the moment i stepped into the house.
Sometimes that's the reason why i dread to be at home & chose to work everyday, unwillingly.

Out today with boy & brought the lil cute MinMin out to PS.
Unhappy stuffs happened & i shan't elaborate more on that.
But yea, that's it. I'm too shag to bother at times, hopefully, you know your limit.

Anyways, Happy 21st Birthday love :)

2009-03-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

Today marks the end of my level 1 LCCI book-keeping course.
Weets! But i've an international exam to take on 1st June & i've no confidence that i'll score well at all :(

So sad, i guess i must make use of my free time to revise & practice,

but the stupid thing is i can't study at home! I'll be lingering around.

Anyone wanna study with me?! Heh.

I told my boss that I can work on Mon, Weds, Thurs & Fri.

& such a kind soul she's, she put me at work for these 4 days!
Oh my, although it's really super tiring to continue working consecutively but i'll tahan for the sake of $$.
yunying jiayou! Yes, i'm money-minded. Who isn't?

3 more days to baby's 21st birthday celebration at chalet :)

I hope everything 'll go smoothly.

& please, for godness sake, yunying, your jealousy is still as insane as ever.

This is so so bad. Change for the better! GO!

2009-03-23T00:14:00.004+08:00

There's always lots of personal stuffs i wish to voice out.

But i can't neither to my parents, friends nor here.

So i've decided to open a personal blog & post it over there should i have any rantings.

2009-03-21T23:35:00.002+08:00

Everytime when i'mma out with boyfriend,
my whole body 'll ache at the end of the day because he can be rushing here & there the entire day.

Anyways, off to his house in the mornin' & out in the afternoon to Vivo for a walk.

Pack some food home for his parents in the evenin'.

& then, out to meet Kelly & her boy for movie; "Hotel for Dogs"

I'm not really a dog-lover kind of dude, but this show is pretty cool & touchin'.

ps: If there's a hotel for pigs, i'll definitely bring baby over :P

2009-03-18T23:39:00.007+08:00

I stayed at home the whole day, bored to death can.

Initial plan was to meet Kelly & her boy for supper at 85 but they can't make it, so bf & i went ahead.

I miss baby sooo muchh! :( How i wish he does not 've to be in the army.

Oh & btw, yay, B hung the froggie on his phone!

love love andrew goh.

I'm desperately in need of cash for some things! I've been not eating & everything just to save $$!
Oh my, allocate more work to me puh-lease, pretty pretty boss..

2009-03-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

Ain't these two little tiny winy froggies cute?!

Aww, but so sad, b says he thinks it's irritatin' to put those stuffs on phone.

So whatever, i shall keep it then :(

2009-03-16T21:48:00.007+08:00

*edited*

Headed down to Escape Theme Park with bf, Kelly & her boy on Sat.

Most of the rides 'd been closed down, it sucks though the weather was doing us too much of a favour.

Cool, I guess it's been ages i didn't get my arse up on those exciting stuffs.

But yea, Kelly & I went for the pirate ship while the guys 're queueing up for advanced go-cart.

I'd a fucked face up there & was really trembling like hell. Babe has a good laugh at me, hurhur lol.

'Just Acia' for lunch, strolled round E-hub since it's pouring heavily.

Kelly & boy went home to change whereas i went over to bf's crib.

They came over at night for mahjong & a few rounds of dai dee, fetched boy's friend for supper together & home.

I met irritatin', bossy, weird, nonsensical customers on Sun, many of them.

& it pissed me off.

& today, met Hong Kun for some chillin' & yay, i finally got all the stuffs that i needed.

Except for the sold-out dress that i wanted :(

I'mma upset right now.

On a separate note, this phone caught my eyes out of the sudden!
Emporio Armani, I understand it's out for quite a period of time but i still fancy it.
Aww..

ily, i really do.

I hope for the day when we can spend the time together under the same roof.

But i guess too bad, we don't see it eye to eye.

i dunno, something isn't right at this point of time.

2009-03-13T00:10:00.006+08:00

I seriously felt ashamed of myself for being so petty at times.

No idea why, perhaps too exhausted from work or moodswings,
but i've been super petty & not understanding at all these few days.
I can't even take jokes.

I'm sorry b, having you to tolerate all my nonsense & foul temper.

I'll try to change & not take things that serious the next time.